This Made Me Smile

??? says:

and u are so not a horrible person

Ming-Ming says:

Oh I am.

??? says:

no wai

Ming-Ming says:

Yup, It's the sad truth of life.

??? says:

i cant believe it i have no proof of it so HA! u are still a good person in my eyes and there will no clouding of that judgement so therefore u are not a horrible person

Ming-Ming says:

AW! thanks <3

??? says:

good now you start believing it :P

Ming-Ming says:

haha. Well, I believe YOU, but other people say different.

??? says:

well screw them

Ming-Ming says:

yeah, my friend told me to stop opening the emails cause they make me so upset, but my curoisity gets the better of me >.<>

??? says:

curiosity is not a sign of a bad person and neither is knowing what other people think of you...there are always jerks who don't like you and thats that no use trying to be "better" in their eyes if its not who u are or want to be and besides if they dont liek you for some reason then thats their problem...sorry about the wall of text

Ming-Ming says:

haha no problem, it's made me feel less crappy believe it or not

Ming-Ming says:

I'm glad i have you as a friend *hugsss* ^^

??? says:

good :P feeling down on urself is no way to live the glass is alway half full...*hugs back* ;)

I'm so fucking lucky to have some really good friends.

And to lighten the mood...

I Don't Know

what the fuck is going on anymore...

I'm tired of my beliefs getting fucked up. I'm tired of feeling one way but being told I'm wrong and then hating myself.

I'm tired of all this mess...

Dead End Countdown

This is all I have to say...

Exiled and pushed away, lost in time, always I’ll be
this bitter person, who’s stuck right here, disillusioned
Don’t stand by if you don..t like what you see
So unsatisfied, no I won’t take what you say to me

Give me some time, give me some reason
Make up your mind and cool down the fever
The drama must die, so give me some way to salvage this life
Finally its over

You outta’ stay away ‘til you see what runs through me
Unless you get this game, the only one I want to play
My promise is cold, you’ve never been told?
There’s nothing to hide, I never did lie.
There’s no way to win, when love is in vain.
I won’t take what you say to me

Give me some time, give me some reason
Make up your mind and cool down the fever
The drama must die, so give me some way to salvage this life
Finally its over

I know were stuck inside a dead end,
Countdown, with no communication
Straight down, we’re drowning in our desperation,
We’re lost beneath the surface.

Give me some time, give me some reason
Make up your mind and cool down the fever
The drama must die, so give me some way to salvage this life
Finally its over

50 Random Facts (about me) That can Change the World (Or your opinion of me)

1. I spend more money on music than food - not because music is more expensive, it's just a hell of a lot better than food.

2. I've gone through 'scene' phases in my life. I used to not care what I dressed like to emo, to fashionista, and now I'm just happy being whatever... skinny jeans, band tees, hoodies and converse are the life for me.

3. I want to get a nose piercing and a tattoo so badly, but care enough about what my parents think to not get one.

4. I am super self conscious about my body. I have bad skin, I think my breasts are too large, I know I'm overweight, and I hate how short I am.

5. I look weird without glasses, but I want to get contacts JUST so I can wear sunglasses.

6. I love orchids. Not sure why but I have an obsession with growing them and pride myself in not killing them.

7. I'm a crazy bird lady. If I could, I'd be more than happy living my life breeding birds and listening to music. Weird eh?

8. I'm incredibly shy. When meeting people I don't know, it sometimes takes time for me to warm up with them. Until then, I am usually awkwardly quiet, or make very random and stupid remarks. Whoops!

9. I do not believe in censorship on my blog. I know this has been a past issue, and sometimes I regret doing what I do. But my blog is my personal space. As long as I am not openly flaming named people and linking their myspace page, then it's cool to me.

10. For some reason I find people in bands, or people who love music, easier to get along with.

11. I treasure my friends. If something is seriously wrong, I will get on a freaking plane to hug you. (Despite how terribly broke I am.)

12. I really want to learn how to skateboard, but am too shy to because I know I'll look like a moron.

13. I can't deny I download a lot of music.

14. My room is smaller than a dorm room and I have trouble picturing myself living in a bigger room. I have so much stuff it's literally piled every where and it takes me one step to get from my bed to the door.

15. I tell my mom everything. I never had a very close relationship with my parents until I moved out.

16. I grew up in a small town where notable attractions are the Library and the Skate park.

17. I've only had one boyfriend in my lifetime... and that was four years ago.

18. I make a lot of impulse decisions and often regret them, but I learn to adapt.

19. I don't know how to ride a bike! So weird eh? I usually take the public transit or walk. I love walking.

20. I have a guilty pleasure for Britney Spears, chick flicks, and chick lits. I love Meg Cabot's chick lits. And I can watch Sex and the City on repeat for hours.

21. Stickers are amazing. So are buttons. I am covering my dresser with stickers, my parents hate it but I love it! <3

22. I want to start collecting band guitar picks and then framing them when I have enough. So far I have... one... BOO. It's Marianas Trench though.. yay!

23. My music taste differs a lot. Sometimes I like pop rock and will only listen to that. Other times I will listen to indie folk music.

24. I actually only have two pictures of me with a band guy.. wait maybe three or four. I never ask for them, mainly because I am too shy/don't care that much. They are two guys from Sing it Loud, one of Alex from ATL, and one with Travis from The Mission District who is technically a friend.

25. I can't lie. I dream of dating a guy in a band, haha.

26. I think cancer is the worst, most evil thing in the world.

27. I hate people who always try to make themselves better than me. It's stupid, arrogant and annoying.

28. I also hate people who complain, but are too lazy to do anything about their problem.

29. I always need to be doing something with my hands. This usually ends up with me picking at scabs. Gross, I know, but it's a bad nervous habit.

30. I also shake my leg when I am sitting. It annoys people a lot, but I don't even realize I am doing it.

31. Despite calling myself an artistic person, and loving the arts, I don't really have any aptitude for it. I can't paint, or do drama of any sort. I can play violin, but I'm not very good, and too lazy/busy to work at it. But I think I will seriously work on it come next year.

32. I can't stand up to people. And when I do, I usually have a mental break down in the process.

33. I hate school. I would drop out if I could.

34. I can sleep all day and stay up all night. I usually try. I sleep until about 11am, and stay up til about 2 or 3am. I need to fix it, but I love the night so much better.

35. I used to walk around at night alone a lot, but I almost got kidnapped one time, so I stopped.

36. I have no upper body strength.

37. I've lived a super sheltered life, so I don't know a lot of things of what people talk about. I usually don't say anything and make a mental note to google it after.

38. I google EVERYTHING.

39. I have an obsession with watching animals, or history civilization shows on the Discovery Channel. I also love the Discovery Channel theme song.

40. I used be an avid World of Warcraft player. I raided four days a week from 6pm to 1am - I was in the top raiding guild of my server. I am a huge nerd.

41. I tried to play Dungeons and Dragons once, but I couldn't stop laughing.

42. When I hear of popular bands, and don't really like them, I get super self conscious wondering if maybe I should like them, and that in actuality they are really good but I'm just crazy.

43. I'm very bad at certain 'band' things I should be good at... for example I never know what people in bands are named, and occasionally know what they look like. I also rarely know background informations.

44. Some of my most favorite bands are bands that my crushes love, and I found when creeping them. I'm an awesome internet creeper, I can't lie =p haha!

45. Some bands that sound familiar I won't be able to tell them apart if I don't listen to them.

46. I know this questions if I am a true music fan, but I don't think it should. I'm here to love music, and make friends.

47. I wish I had cool connections so I can get free stuff from bands, haha.

48. I have problems locking up with I talk to people of influence. Whether it be a professor, band guy, someone I am attracted to, or just someone who has a commanding presence. It's almost like I have star-fright or something. I just never know what to say and end up standing in an awkward silence.

49. Despite being 19, I know very little about what kind of alcohol is out there. I don't drink a lot, but I usually need just one drink to loosen up in an awkward situation. I also don't smoke or do drugs - nor am I ever planning to.

50. I used to hate my life. But now I try to remind myself to be thankful for the things out there, and try to live every moment.

Waking up past Noon again, Figured out I have no Friends

I've had a busy few days!

So be prepared for a lot of random jibberish and pictures!

First thing is first... OMG I have comments! And not from friends, from people I don't know! (I can only assume...)

When I saw '3 comments' I was like... "Uh oh, hate mail." But amazingly they were both very amusing and encouraging messages.

So thank you!

Next, I went to Grimsby to pick up a mouth guard and I am now choking on a mouth guard because I grind my teeth... yay!

Now the boring news aside...

So Friday, Heather planned some random trip to go to Niagara Falls... it was SO much fun! I made some new friends, and it was like sexy awesome fun times.

We went around to the wax museums and got lost in a hall of mirrors and had many a crotch shots... yay!

I hung out with Paige in the Grimsby drinking coolers, being classy with wine, and playing Busta Groove 2... it was a sweet day.

Now today is like an epic day in my life.

Well this month has been pretty epic. Not only have I seen Valencia live.. but now I've seen Rides Again!

I forgot how much fun it is to go a real rock concert. And it was 19+ (my first 19+ concert where I am actually 19, yay!). It was nice for the doors to not open at 3:30pm, though it was weird being probably the youngest person there. None the less, Rides Again kicks some serious ass and it's fun rocking out!

And they are super NICE guys!

Seriously, Rides Again is probably my top 10 bands.. let's see if I can make a Top 10 Band list... at least Top 10 at the moment. Here it is, in no particular order...

1. Attack in Black

2. Valencia

3. Rides Again

4. Alexisonfire

5. Death Cab for Cutie - one week!

6. Tokyo Police Club

7. Armor for Sleep

8. Cobra Starship

9. Incubus

10. Phantom Planet - on indefinite hiatus =(

Wow that was actually harder than I thought. I'd love to throw Sherwood, Limbeck, Copeland, and tons other on the list, but I'll have to stick with that... And I've seen the bolded ones. Not bad, not bad.

I have half of them at least...

It's actually really strange, I was talking about this with Heather that I saw Rides Again at my high school so many years ago, and yet I didn't listen to music in high school.... Maybe I'd listen to mainstream stuff, but Grimsby really didn't have a music scene.

Then my last year of high school / moving to Toronto my whole life has changed and music quite literally IS my life. I'd die without it, and I even want to base my career off of it.

Crazy isn't it?

So I'm still pretty new to all this concert going stuff. I've only started going since I moved to Toronto (for obvious reasons), and I only wish I got into it sooner.

So now I am sitting here, reflecting on my awesome night, listening to Attack in Black 'Years' vinyl, and choking on my mouthguard. No idea how I am going to sleep with this in.

Tomorrow I need to catch up hardcore on school work, and pick up a vinyl from the post office. I do believe it's The Clash's Combat Rock, yahoo!

I'm also contemplating what is going to happen when Heather has to move away =(

We've been friends for quite a while (ever since I randomly asked to be her friend at The Mission District's MTV thing... so random, haha) and she is definitely one of the people I think fate truly brought us together.

Unfortunately, we've only started REALLY hanging out recently, and it's been a terrible blast. I'm only saying terrible because it's going to make me miss her SO much when she is gone next year =(

But I said I'd visit her, and she'll probably be stuck with me for a week, haha. But I don't know what I am going to do without all this impromptu road trips, fun concert times and 'Whyyyy d you have SOOTHERS?'

I guess all we can do is treasure the moments we have, and just keep living in the moment, enjoying life, and ROCKING ON!

Sweeping Generalizations, Lecturing, and the Art of Procrastination

One thing in the world that irritates me the most is when people delve sweeping generalizations about anything- especially me!

For example, someone mentioned this band... I already forget their name but they were on the cover of AP. And this is how the conversation went?

Me: Are they any good?

Her: I don't think you'll like them.

Me: Oh?

Her: Screamo =p

Then I started scratching my head. Why? Because I was listening to Alexisonfire. Which last I checked is pretty screamo.

Of course I listened to them, and she was right, I didn't like them. Why? Not because it was screamo, but because I thought that it didn't really have any music to it... just screaming. I could probably give them another chance, but that one song I listened to didn't sell me and like man...

Okay, maybe it's not a sweeping generalization, but I hate it when people just jump to conclusions. Apparently I'm not 'bad ass' to listen to screamo or something.

Next, lecturing - I hate hate hate when people lecture me.

There is one thing called passing on knowledge, and that I appreciate. Of course, I often ask for the knowledge. Then there is another thing where people like to talk in this hoity-toity manner informing me of things that even the most mediocre of people would know.

It just makes me feel so like.. appalled that some people actually think they need to tell me this stuff? Like... do I come off as incredibly stupid or something?

And then that brings the awkward conversation after where I should probably say something like "Oh Cool." Or something, as if learning something new.

But I have a lot of trouble doing that so I always come off as an angry bitch with a "Duh" or a "Yeah... I know."

Then it just goes to all sorts of awkward.

And finally the Art of Procrastination.

I've been feeling quite down lately. Believe it or not. Tuesday I had no work or school and was supposed to be at least 1/3rd done my essay by the end of the day.

Well it is Friday and I haven't done anything except pick up the book I needed.

I'm not sure what is up with me... but man, I am the queen of this. I can find a billion other things to do that are so un-productive people wonder how I survive.

And of course, now I come to the time where I am so freaking busy that I don't have time to work on it anyways.

I am so screwed.

I need to start writing more editorial things. I want to get an internship at AP magazine after university and need to be good at writing.

Why am I listening to Jesse McCartney on the TV?

Love you all <3

This Made me Laugh

I stole this from here. That is Brendan's blog, the guitarist from Valencia. Aka: Studmuffin.

This also reminds me of this video here. Which you all must watch.

I was literally rolling on the floor laughing when I watched it.. mind you it was very late at night.

I'm such a loser, I love it.

Tomorrow, off to Niagara Falls with Heather, and then Grimsby for some Paige-time.

Then dentist and RIDES AGAIN!

YEAH!

The Good Life

I remember what I was going to write a few days ago.

It's kind of dumb and cheesy, but everyone loves a bit of cheese now and then.

I know a lot of people don't think I've lived an exceptionally hard life. But to me, it feels like I have.

I've battled clinical depression, losing family and friends, watching someone I love die and constantly having my whole life torn apart because of it.

Constantly losing loved ones... and the immeasurable guilt that came with it.

I finally have found some sort of stability... finally...

I remember when my Grandma was in the hospital battling cancer. That was such an awful time. I was already super depressed because I lost both Kaizoku and Ester (two birds) early that month.

I know it's dumb for me to be so upset over two birds.

But Kaizoku was literally my life - he brought me back to the real world and losing him was like being cut free and thrown back into the darkness.

Then Ester came and gave me hope again. But I lost her a week later.

It was hard... and the guilt... was just awful.

Me and my sister spent a lot of times at the hospital. I pretty much dropped out of school, dropping two of my classes, and barely passing the others. Sleepless night after sleepness night I watched her suffer - watched the cancer turn her into someone we didn't even recognize... making her say cruel things and then slowly deteriorating to nothing.

Cancer is an awful thing. I would never wish it on anyone - not even the devil.

And during this time... I felt so alone.

Honestly, so alone. I had internet but I only remember one friend truly talking to me, trying to help me through night after night and that was Jesse - someone I know through a fucking video game.

And then I had my music.

That brings me to my point... Music.

Without it, I don't know if I'd still be around. It's such a great thing, a gift from the heavens or whatever else is out there... I don't know, something about it just heals me.

I don't know if all the artists out there can relate to what I feel, even though they right music about it, but I knows some out there do.

Valencia, is one of them.

Watching them live was incredible.

I have always loved them, their songs really speaking to me. But listening to the actual words being sung in front of me... the words that guided me day after day through my tough times... it almost gave me a renewed strength to keep going.

Sometimes, I would just stop everything and just stand there in the darkness and close my eyes and listen.

Some lyrics provoked memories and I almost felt like crying.

Haha, this sounds so stupid.

But this goes out to Valencia... we all do need a reason to believe. Sometimes I think I found mine, but right now... I'm still kind of lost.

So I'm still looking for my reason to believe.

I barely got to sleep last night but don't worry girl,
I still had that dream again
The dream where I'm in a perfect world with perfect blue skies

Where no one dies and we spend forever livin' in love
Nothing could be better than a perfect world
With a perfect girl, we'd have so much time living out the good life.

From the moment my feet touched sand
To the perfect skies up in the tall mountains.
It felt so good to roll the windows down
drive alone until we find ourselves
and we'll go back to the life we wanna lead,
then we'll go back to the way things used to be.

We'll find a way to make it right,
we're gonna live our lives,
step by step, we'll make it as we sing...

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
We stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get,
I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down.

I met great friends, I've seen great times
I've been in love and I've seen love die.

But nothing's as good as when I close my eyes
And feel that road that's lead me through this life
It's a good life, just get me on my feet
It's a good life, but I'm living in a dream where

I'll take a chance on every breath like it's my last.
Step by step, we'll make it as we sing...

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
we stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get I'll be a step behind
I'll find a way to catch you when you fall down.

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
We stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get, I'll be a step behind
I'll find a way to catch you when you fall down.

I packed my bags,
I was on my way home,
I was 400 miles away from being back inside of your arms,
it's where I always wanted to be.

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
we stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get,
I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down.

I'll catch you when you fall down.

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
we stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get,
I'll be a step behind
I'll find a way to catch you when you fall down.

I barely got to sleep last night,
but don't worry girl,
I still had that dream again.

I Used to Love H.E.R.

My friend, Franz, is a huge hip hop fanatic, and is very aware I'm not.

Then he sent me this, and it is so true -

It's actually amazing. I didn't understand it at first, but after doing some research the song became at least twenty times better than when I first heard it... pretty much bouncing it up to one billion.

And that is saying a lot for someone who doesn't like hop hop.

Take a listen.

And love.

And it's amazing how well it applies to society new even though it is quite an old song.

Horoscopeeeeee

Please let this be true.

Gemini (May 21 — June 21)

A certain problem will soon be a memory once you discover a new understanding of your past and future. Don't expect any amazing event to take place just yet, although that too will eventually come.

And can this amazing event happen with a certain band merch guy =p

Random Thoughts in a Random Order

Hello my faithful one reader!

Oi, I had a crazy day... my mom came, went to Canada Blooms, cleaned the house, failed at working on my essay.. the list continues.

Well, as a warning this is going to be a very confusing blog - lots of thoughts are going through my head and I need to get them out... so this is just going to be random thoughts going through my head.

Can you decipher them?

Always a possibility, but who knows, I'm keeping them as vague as personal - to not offend and third parties.

Now.. let's start.

You broke my heart, ignored me, and talked to me again - how can I understand you?

Open up your eyes - I'm not as dumb as everything thinks I am.

Underneath it all, I'm sad.

Broken inside, I want you to take my breath away.

Lost in deep thoughts - no idea where I am going in life.

Once upon a time, there was this girl and she was in love...

Can someone PLEASE hook me up with him?

Keep going, don't give up!

Some people don't love me like I love them - or how I want to love them?

Overly excited for Death Cab.

My imagination is soaring, but I have no way to invest it.

Everyone I know seems to be running further and further away from me.

One day I will be loved.

Never speak the truth - it just gets you in shit.

Eating away my sorrows and getting fat with it.

What happened to all the laughs?

I am officially a freak.

Though I don't mean to be.

How can I control what I am?

Other people make me hate myself more - so jealous.

University is killing me.

Totally and completely socially inept.

Maybe things will get better.

Although I don't know how....

Knowing makes me wiser, not knowing makes me feel better.

I don't know what to do anymore...

No friends... at least that's what it feels like here... in Toronto.

Get over it, move on.

I'm trying to move away from all this drama but it follows me like a plague.

To feel free, like the weight's gone off my shoulders.

From the top of the world and I can finally breathe.

Urgh... I want him so badly.

Can't stop thinking about the Valencia fun.

Kickin' It Old School.

Invest every moment, love every laugh.

Never go down without a fight.

GET OVER HIM.

Perhaps things might get brighter.

Everyone else thinks so...

Remember the good times.

Someone save me.

Over...

No.

At least I have this sweet mini orchid...

Love... fuck you.

Can you find the code???

Good night.

My hands are dry and Cracked with the Age of Lies

I just made a second attempt at contact.

Wish me luck.

I have so much work to do, but I just want to sit and listen to music. I'm really enjoying Attack in Black. I just got their new LP in the mail, makes me so excited to hear one of my favorite bands on vinyl.

I really wish I was in Pennsylvania with Heather right now. I miss Valencia, and road tripping with friends. It was the best time I had in a really long time - now I am back to dreary existence in dreary Toronto.

I want the weather to be nice.

I want to be rich.

I want a boyfriend.

I actually had an actual idea I wanted to write in this blog.. but I do not remember what it is and that kind of makes me sad, haha.

Later.

Another Saturday

I bought the Dark Was the Night compilation CD mainly because it was for a good cause and there are some great tracks on it.

But I haven't actually listened to the whole thing all the way through.

I was going through, clicking off songs I didn't like because I needed to make more room o my iPod when I heard the song 'Another Saturday' and the familiar beautiful voice of the Belle & Sebastian singer, Stuart Murdoch.

I was super excited. I haven't heard anything from Belle & Sebastian since their BBC recordings!

I want to share it with you, but I couldn't find it on youtube. So... GO BUY THE CD!

Be Brave

This commercial made me cry.

Videos from The ROAD TRIP!

What About Indie Rockers? (an excerpt from The Hipster Handbook)

For the past decade, the indie rocker has been integral to the Hipster scene. But categorizing people as indie rockers these days seems a little passe. With the onset of Internet file sharing sources like Limewire and WinMX, using 'indie' as a defining characteristic of the Hipster seems dated.

In the nineties, indie rockers were more than music they listened to. An entire culture evolved around this unique group. They were a soft-spoken breed prone to wearing undersized T-shirts with ironic slogans. They considered themselves nerdy and dressed the part. They tended to be pale and thin and were very fond of black glasses with thick plastic rims. They loved Yo La Tengo and Stereolab and were usually in bands themselves.

Indie rock boys had crushes on Asian women who had bodies like fifteen-year-old boys. Indie rock girls liked superskinny boys with unkempt hair. Indie boys prided themselves on being fragile and sickly-looking. Indie women prided themselves on their knee-sock collections and the fact that even they were tougher than the average indie boy. Both were too shy and awkward to even make a first move, which might help explain why the breed is dying out.

Needless to say, Hipsters who match this description are everywhere, but the indie movement has become fractured, and people tend to define themselves in more specific terms. Hipsters are now more likely to say they are into a specific style of music like emo or alt-country than to classify themselves as 'indie'. Characteristics of the indie rocker are still especially prevalent in Loners, WASHes, UTFs, Maxwells and Polits.

Though icons like Steve Malkmus made being wimpy an attribute, Hipster men today rarely revel in the fact that they are weak, even when they are. They say they are into boxing or begin eating lots of steak to embrace their macho side. Likewise, Hipster women are empowered by their sexuality and have grown tired of dating men who wear Girl Scout T-shirts. Both embrace sleaze culture and know that being PC is for baby boomers and jerries. In general, fans of indie music seem to have a little more edge these days. So with great fondness, we formally say farewell to the age of the indie rocker.

(by Robert Lanham)

5 Songs of the Moment

Now for the.... 5 songs of the moment post!

1. Working - Valencia (We literally listened to this song for 2 hours straight. It is at the beginning of this video - but you should watch the whole thing because this band is literally love. Meeting them has made me love em all the more!)

2. The Brightest Green - Anarbor (youtube)

3. Don't Trust Me - 3Oh!3 (youtube)

4. Train Song - Feist and Ben Gibbard for Dark Was the Night (youtube)

5. Lake Pontchartrain - Ludo (youtube)

Enjoy!

Prostitution is Revolution

You can hate me, until you pay me.

Seriously, I've been thinking a lot (what a surprise). No, I'm not thinking of becoming a prostitute but I bet I'd make some serious bucks compared to what I am making now.

I've been thinking about who I am as a person.

It's very different hanging out with friends once and a while, and living with them for four days while driving around the country (which was still amazing!) And while I still love my friends, probably love them even more now, it makes me question what kind of person I am.

I'm kind of... boring.

I'm very awkward when meeting new people. Well not all new people, more like meeting bands. It's not that I am star-struck or anything. I'm just awkward - I have nothing really to say. So I kind of just chill out in the background while my friends chat it up (I have no idea how they do it). I'm very envious of that skill, but it's probably one of the reason I have so few friends.

But then again, I don't think I want to change who I am, just because bands don't know me nor want to be my best friend.

I'm quite pleased with my awkward self, and I'm starting to think that perhaps I don't want to change as much as I thought I did before.

I don't care that I don't dress like all those fashionista hipsters - with their leggings and headbands and Queen Street cool. I dress like a boy - wearing oversized t-shirts and skinny jeans that are so tight, it's emo.

I don't care that if presented with a choice of a weeks worth of food or starvation and the City and Colours EPs, I would sure as hell go for them EPs.

I don't care if my boss thinks my pop-rock, pop-punk music is dumb. I love it and that's all that matters!

And though I do care that I still can't seduce a boy worth shit, maybe the boy just isn't worth it.

Though it is annoying constantly falling for people who don't give a fuck about you.

So that is prostitution.

My revolution.

Honey, I'm Home!!!

Back from the trip.

I will have some videos up later this week when I find the time to edit the crap out of em.

Love this song.

And once again am crushing on someone I can't have/doesn't like me... well this guy doesn't even KNOW me.

Fuck my life.

Liar liar, pants on fire.

Remember when I posted THIS?!

Yeah, no change.

Except that I now have more boys on my MSN list.

THE HURTFUL LIES!

But on the bright side...

You are beginning to wonder why a lacklustre mood continues to persist. Today brings a welcome change of attitude as good news alters your frame of mind and creates positive momentum.

ROAD TRIP!

Finally going to Windsor/Detroit and Chicago! YAY!

Coming home on Sunday just in time for a staff meeting, boo!

I'll be back with lots of pictures and videos! YAY (I am probably the only person who reads my blog and cares... yay!)

Random Pictures

Eggs enjoying the sun in the bird room.
My dad driving. I thought it turned out cool.
The bliss and pain of the Chinese grocery store.
City at night.

On the streetcar.
And birdie love <3

Laces Out - USS (with lyrics!)

I haven't found the lyrics, so I took the time to figure them out myself.

This song is AWESOME. And I never was a huge fan of USS (Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker) but now I totally love them. Their new CD rocks!

Here is my favorite song on their CD, Questimation, and also their first single. And the lyrics to go with it.

(PS: I totally am not doing Project 365 anymore... it's too much work. I'd rather just randomly blog)

Direct your eyes to the obvious proof
And puppy dog lies won’t sweeten the truth
I whisper and scream but I can’t refute
It’s absolute
It’s absolute

I bite my lip as you sharpen your tongue
I love you evermore even after you’ve stung
We’re pushing through the dirt, now we’re ready to root
We’re absolute
We’re absolute

I’m breaking through
I’m breaking through through through to you
I’m breaking through
I’m breaking through through through to you
I’m breaking

And messiness is bliss when you shoot and you miss
I wish those days like I wish the plague
I’m pushing at the wind, now I’m pulling the chute
I’m absolute
I’m absolute
It’s absolute
We’re absolute

I’m breaking through
I’m breaking through through through to you
I’m breaking through
I’m breaking through through through to you

When my laces out, I don’t know I don’t know
When my laces out, I don’t know, I don’t know
(When my laces out) I don’t know, I don’t know
(When my laces out) I don’t know, I don’t know

So Beautiful...

It almost made me cry...

Weird masks though, aha.

But both very amazing violinists, I could only I would be that good... ever.

Ka-BOOM!

Don't you love taking a nice stroll around campus cause it's a nice day than BANG!

Gunfire?!

A car crash?!

No... A CANNON!

That is correct my friends, U of T has it's own tiny cannon that is extremely loud and scares the shit out of everyone. It's quite amusing when there's a lot of people and everyone jumps up/screams simultaneously.

Well, of course that got me thinking of our strange school and some other strange things our dear Engineering students have done. My friends and I have saw these guys all in black that are chained together. Well I learned these are the 'cannon guards'. Which reminded me of a prank that Waterloo/U of T did by stealing Waterloo's tool and U of T's canon.

I then found out that Queens got into this too... because apparently they stole a pole from us about half a century ago from Varsity stadium and a group called 'The Brute Force Committee' stole it back.

So we also have a pranking force that does large scale vandalism and pranks around U of T.

So weird!

Anyways right now I am at Harthouse which is cool and castle-like, attempting to write an essay... which really I haven't done anything but find articles.

So yeah.

Bye!

Telephone Scare

I had a false MUCH-telephone call.
I thought they called me from work because it was an unfamiliar number that phoned me twice. But after googling the number it is yet another Rogers Telemarketer.
Sigh.

My schedule is so ridiculously busy.
I would like to share it with you =p
For the next two months that is...
(And this doesn't include my work schedule!)

March
March 3 - Dad's 50th Birthday
March 3 - War Child Heroes CD out (BUY IT)
March 4 - Hanzo's 2nd Birthday
March 4 - Mass Media Website/Essay due
March 10 - Attack in Black CD 'Years' out (bought it on 2 LP vinyl, yeah!)
March 11 - Mass Media Test
March 11 - Cultural Anthropology Essay due
March 12 - Evening leave for Windsor
March 13 - Valencia in Chicago
March 14 - Valencia in Detroit
March 15 - Back to Toronto
March 17 - Valencia in Buffalo
March 17 - This Providence New CD out
March 17 - New Glamour Kills line out
March 23 - Science Fiction Essay Due
March 27 - Back to Grimsby
March 28 - Dentist at noon
March 28 - Rides Again @ Hard Rock Cafe
March 31 - New Chester French CD out

April
April 1 - Register for PoSt
April 2 - American Literature Essay due
April 3 - Ruby Coast at Lee's Palace (maybe)
April 5 - Death Cab for Cutie @ Sound Academy (need tickets still!)
April 8 - Final test for Mass Media
April 9 - Youth Studies Essay Due
April 9 - Youth Study Test
April 9 - American Literature Test
April 10 - CLASSES END... YES!
April 11-13 - VIsiting brother in Boston
April 13-17 - Study period
April 16 - This Providence @ The Opera House (need tickets)
April 17 - Velociraptor Awareness Day (thought I'd throw that in)
April 25 - Datura @ The Black Swan (need directions)
April 28 - Science Fiction exam
April 29 - Cultural Anthropology exam
SCHOOL OVER.

Phew, I know a lot of stuff is CDs and Concerts but that is still busy!
And broke!
Yikes!
Okay back to reading!

Website

So I made a website for my essay.
See here.

I still want to be a VJ.
I hate admitting it to people, and I think my friend Mandie just thinks I made the video for fun and don't actually really want it, thus fucking up her chances.
I'm sorry Mandie. I really do want it - it's just really out of my character, so I feel awkward admitting it.

If you haven't seen my video please watch it here and rate it!
I want to be a YOUTUBE partner!

I'm going to make another one soon, but I just can't think of what to do/have the time.
I am SO freaking busy this week I actually want to break down and cry and then drop out of school.

Next, that essay I thought I failed because I totally didn't answer the question and instead bended the quote to talk about why I thought testing was stupid and irrelevant.
Well turns out I got a 75% on that essay... which is above the class average!

I'm both excited and confused.
It's like... this was my way of saying 'fuck the system' and they rewarded me... SAY WHAT?

Okay bed time.
Work tomorrow and then SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL WORK!
AHHHHH!
(might drop a class if I go too crazy... I hope not, I'm already short so many credits. FML!)

Good-Bye, Weekend!

A fairly productive day.

I have a confession... for the last two days I've been watching re-runs of Paris Hilton's My New BFF and now the new British friend thing... And I've been enjoying it!

I always love looking into the personal lives of the rich and fabulous... hoping one day I could be amongst them, but I won't.

I'm 19.

I'm already past my famous expiry date =p

And because of this, the idea of being a MUCH MUSIC VJ seems more and more appealing.

Of course, I know it's not going to happen because it's me!

I'm not skinny or beautiful like Leah Miller.

I'm short and fat and boring looking, haha.

Nor did I ever go to acting school or anything.

I'd probably fail at it anyways!

Today I went out for Peking Duck with my parents - best thing EVER!

But lately I've had huge problems with my stomach, so my stomach has not been happy ALL DAY. I may need to go see a doctor about it.

Then we went to the Chinese grocery store.

It's weird...I both hate and love going there. Hate it because its dirty, and busy, and full of meat... but love it because there are always weird things and they just stack up the tiny aisles full of stuff.

It's like stumbling into a different world.

Back to reality.

Sigh!

Pictures later.