The Good Life

I remember what I was going to write a few days ago.

It's kind of dumb and cheesy, but everyone loves a bit of cheese now and then.

I know a lot of people don't think I've lived an exceptionally hard life. But to me, it feels like I have.

I've battled clinical depression, losing family and friends, watching someone I love die and constantly having my whole life torn apart because of it.

Constantly losing loved ones... and the immeasurable guilt that came with it.

I finally have found some sort of stability... finally...

I remember when my Grandma was in the hospital battling cancer. That was such an awful time. I was already super depressed because I lost both Kaizoku and Ester (two birds) early that month.

I know it's dumb for me to be so upset over two birds.

But Kaizoku was literally my life - he brought me back to the real world and losing him was like being cut free and thrown back into the darkness.

Then Ester came and gave me hope again. But I lost her a week later.

It was hard... and the guilt... was just awful.

Me and my sister spent a lot of times at the hospital. I pretty much dropped out of school, dropping two of my classes, and barely passing the others. Sleepless night after sleepness night I watched her suffer - watched the cancer turn her into someone we didn't even recognize... making her say cruel things and then slowly deteriorating to nothing.

Cancer is an awful thing. I would never wish it on anyone - not even the devil.

And during this time... I felt so alone.

Honestly, so alone. I had internet but I only remember one friend truly talking to me, trying to help me through night after night and that was Jesse - someone I know through a fucking video game.

And then I had my music.

That brings me to my point... Music.

Without it, I don't know if I'd still be around. It's such a great thing, a gift from the heavens or whatever else is out there... I don't know, something about it just heals me.

I don't know if all the artists out there can relate to what I feel, even though they right music about it, but I knows some out there do.

Valencia, is one of them.

Watching them live was incredible.

I have always loved them, their songs really speaking to me. But listening to the actual words being sung in front of me... the words that guided me day after day through my tough times... it almost gave me a renewed strength to keep going.

Sometimes, I would just stop everything and just stand there in the darkness and close my eyes and listen.

Some lyrics provoked memories and I almost felt like crying.

Haha, this sounds so stupid.

But this goes out to Valencia... we all do need a reason to believe. Sometimes I think I found mine, but right now... I'm still kind of lost.

So I'm still looking for my reason to believe.

I barely got to sleep last night but don't worry girl,
I still had that dream again
The dream where I'm in a perfect world with perfect blue skies

Where no one dies and we spend forever livin' in love
Nothing could be better than a perfect world
With a perfect girl, we'd have so much time living out the good life.

From the moment my feet touched sand
To the perfect skies up in the tall mountains.
It felt so good to roll the windows down
drive alone until we find ourselves
and we'll go back to the life we wanna lead,
then we'll go back to the way things used to be.

We'll find a way to make it right,
we're gonna live our lives,
step by step, we'll make it as we sing...

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
We stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get,
I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down.

I met great friends, I've seen great times
I've been in love and I've seen love die.

But nothing's as good as when I close my eyes
And feel that road that's lead me through this life
It's a good life, just get me on my feet
It's a good life, but I'm living in a dream where

I'll take a chance on every breath like it's my last.
Step by step, we'll make it as we sing...

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
we stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get I'll be a step behind
I'll find a way to catch you when you fall down.

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
We stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get, I'll be a step behind
I'll find a way to catch you when you fall down.

I packed my bags,
I was on my way home,
I was 400 miles away from being back inside of your arms,
it's where I always wanted to be.

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
we stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get,
I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down.

I'll catch you when you fall down.

Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights
we stayed up late until the sun would rise.
No matter how far you get,
I'll be a step behind
I'll find a way to catch you when you fall down.

I barely got to sleep last night,
but don't worry girl,
I still had that dream again.